How to parent a teen from a teen’s perspective | Lucy Androski | TEDxYouth@Okoboji

How to parent a teen from a teen’s perspective | Lucy Androski | TEDxYouth@Okoboji

A teen’s opinion on parenting from stereotypes and experience. This talk teaches parents about technology, teen emotions, and types of parents, all from a teen’s perspective. Lucy Androski is 13 years old and just completed her 7th-grade year at Okoboji Middle School. As Lucy is our youngest speaker, she has a unique view on parenting teens. She enjoys music, art, and playing tennis. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at


  1. Ryan Stephenson on August 17, 2021 at 10:02 pm

    Remembers parents, if you insult us we’ll remember. It hurts so bad. If you take something away from us for one little mistake like a bad grade or not cleaning our rooms, you’re taking away something we enjoy which makes us upset. If we don’t want to hang out with you or be near you or touched by you (hugging,etc.) we are scared of you or do not forgive you for what you might have done. Stop blaming things on our phones and computers. You say it’s all because of the screen but what’s going to happen when we end it all? Is it still just the screen to you or are you realizing you were a horrible parent/guardian?

  2. Mysterious Forest on August 17, 2021 at 10:03 pm

    I like how she said "its not you, its emotions" instead of saying"its not you, its them" because its not their fault their having emotions

  3. Deborah Gainer on August 17, 2021 at 10:04 pm

    this is a great speech, i feel that adopted teens/tweens have it even harder.. like myself. i was adopted when i was 2 weeks old, years later when i was about 5 or 6 my biological grandmother found me, i biological father had died a few years before. i’ve meet her and all my biological family, my aunt, great grandma and my cousin. the thing i found hardest is when she sends pictures, just a few days ago she sent a picture with my great grandma, aunt, herself, and my cousin all with matching outfits and i found this hurtful when i dont thing other people might. this is because i felt left out, i love all of them and seeing this just hurt me so much, i am not vaccinated yet so my parents won’t let me go see them all the way across the country.

  4. karenKristal on August 17, 2021 at 10:04 pm

    someone should do a talk on when youre a teen and your parents are more unreasonable than you are

  5. hey!¡. on August 17, 2021 at 10:06 pm

    Parenting is hard, you have another you to take care of. Only, they have a different mind set, diffrent ideas and most importantly, different perspectives. But that does not give a reason for you not to "pass" the stage the "correct" way. You are a mirror to your child whether it’s a girl, boy or who they are. You want them to turn out as "picture perfect" as possible not only for themselves but to their future children too. "Stay calm" a teen said "It’s just emotions" so calm down and know it is them passing through the "everything is the end of the world phase." Let them be, and it will pass smoothly.

  6. WaltWhitman on August 17, 2021 at 10:06 pm

    girlboss ted talk child #2

  7. ¡ Uphorik ! on August 17, 2021 at 10:10 pm

    not even the subtitles can understand half of what she’s saying. your points are valid but work on annunciation, it’ll strengthen your argument so much more!

  8. שלהבת סטץ on August 17, 2021 at 10:13 pm

    I agree. all we need is a bit of listening.

  9. wait huh on August 17, 2021 at 10:14 pm

    Basically, the fish is telling me how to fish scenario….nice

  10. Kids Account Smith on August 17, 2021 at 10:14 pm

    The losey gosey

  11. Amir Syafrudin on August 17, 2021 at 10:15 pm

    One take way: Be a listener.
    It takes a whole family to be a happy family, including your children. So, include them.

  12. Beverley Nambozo Nsengiyunva on August 17, 2021 at 10:16 pm

    I’m 45 years old, and highly appreciate this. What a great communicator!

  13. Hiba Coolgal#1 on August 17, 2021 at 10:16 pm

    this video didn’t cover what’s most important to me (as a teen) in the way that I believe but I liked it. there should be more videos like this

  14. Delanie Gibbons on August 17, 2021 at 10:17 pm

    Is she okay? I think her mom forced her to memorize this speech

  15. Yael Shmaryahu on August 17, 2021 at 10:17 pm

    Very nice! I love hearing what teens think and would really enjoy more talks like this. Way to go 👍

  16. Diya on August 17, 2021 at 10:18 pm

    Most viewers of this video are not parents 😂 they are teenagers including me idk why I am watching this I’m not a parent lol😂😂😂

  17. leilani jacobson on August 17, 2021 at 10:20 pm

    yea even if i could show this to my mom, i wouldn’t..i developed an eating disorder bc of her and relapsed bc she wouldn’t listen to me. this was when i was 9. she would, and still does, yell at me and my siblings all the time. as a kid i had no other choice but to cry or get mad..but i knew this wouldn’t help so i went straight to food. as a coping mechanism. this is what led to my ed. i would binge and then purge but everytime i purged..i would always lose 2 – 5 lbs and never gain it back so this is where my weight started to drop. like..a lot. i’m now 13 (still trying to recover) whilst my mom is yelling at my sister. yea ik. she’s yelling as i’m writing this. anyways, to sum it all up..i hate life and everyone in mine and it’s all bc of one woman…my mom. yuck. gosh i hate that word, even if i spell it backwards, it’s still there.

  18. Radayci Torres on August 17, 2021 at 10:22 pm

    She gave some powerful powerful advice ❤❤💫💫

  19. Always Accurate on August 17, 2021 at 10:23 pm

    This was cute but what happens if you are the listening parent and your teen doesnt really talk. How as school? U wanna watch a movie? Great job!, what do u wanna do for fun next week, how u feeling- its like talking to a brick wall. Counseling doesnt seem to help. Im 2sec away from giving up

  20. D.S.D on August 17, 2021 at 10:23 pm

    It’s funny how this teenager saying stay calm when it comes to mood swings, this is a joke like a teenager giving a advice to parenting, they haven’t lived the real world yet or not a parent, I don’t what her parents Were thinking putting teenager giving advice.

  21. Violet Marks on August 17, 2021 at 10:23 pm

    This girl doesn’t know anything. Teens don’t know how to parent because they aren’t one.

    Also, can somebody tell me how to change my profile picture? My son changed it and I don’t know how to change it back.

  22. Lol on August 17, 2021 at 10:24 pm

    I really love this

  23. S Doyle on August 17, 2021 at 10:25 pm

    Can’t understand her – she speaks fast and doesn’t enunciate. Shame – I was really interested.

  24. Thoi Chanu on August 17, 2021 at 10:26 pm


  25. Ej Sierra on August 17, 2021 at 10:29 pm

    my mom would certainly ell at me for crying over something like that. . .

  26. Jumana A.j on August 17, 2021 at 10:29 pm

    us watching this finna be the best parents period.

  27. ✨_GrxngerDxnger_✨ on August 17, 2021 at 10:32 pm

    Any parents over here? Why do I see only teens commenting stuff? Isn’t this made for parents to watch?

  28. C B on August 17, 2021 at 10:35 pm

    Jesus loves you!

  29. Team DDS on August 17, 2021 at 10:36 pm

    Honestly I hate it when my parents say “kids these days…” because they just dont know how it is to be like to be a teen. My mother almost never supports me emotionally. no matter 50 years ago, 10 years ago, whatever, I think there’s just one type of kids. Kids. They still need the support and care from their parents. Parents should not be tyrants just because “they’re parents”.

  30. carebear on August 17, 2021 at 10:39 pm

    yo she had a really good point with staying calm and not getting mad at your kid. lol i wish my parents were like that.

    also i’d love for her to talk again when she’s older about how her mental health has been affected by her parents and all that.

  31. Ayushi Singh on August 17, 2021 at 10:40 pm

    how do i send this to my mom without sending it to my mom?

  32. Autumn Rain on August 17, 2021 at 10:40 pm

    I have a suggestion for parents out there…when I am going through a mood swing, it does not help at all when you explain to me or the people around me why I am crying or screaming…as I am crying or screaming. It makes it even harder to calm down. It’s my least favorite thing when I start to cry just cause I’m a teenager and my mom says to everyone "PMS!" Or "Hormones!" It’s incredibly embarrassing! It makes things 10 times worse! Especially when I finally give up and go to my room to cool down and I can hear my mom talking about me downstairs. It aggravates the situation and makes it incredibly difficult to come back calmly and apologize and forgive her. Emotions are something I like to process through myself, especially as a teenager who is learning how to control them and analyse them. It isn’t your job to explain them to me as I am experiencing them. Maybe after I cool down, or after I try to figure it out myself, you can help me understand why I was feeling that way. Thank you very much for coming to my Ted Talk, goodnight.

  33. ha phuong on August 17, 2021 at 10:41 pm

    Đọc nhanh thế không kịp đọc theo

  34. Rana 1016 on August 17, 2021 at 10:42 pm

    I am watching this as a mother of a 15 yr old teen boy. Trying to see what I can do better. Thank you for this sweetheart,

  35. Abbi Fleming on August 17, 2021 at 10:45 pm

    not me reading the title as "how to PREVENT a teen from a teen’s prospective"

  36. Lilly Mirembe on August 17, 2021 at 10:45 pm

    She’s so smart that its scary

  37. Chonni Dawkins on August 17, 2021 at 10:46 pm

    love it great advice lol i hope more parents watch this and take great advice from it! (btw i’m not a parent i’m a teen)

  38. Alcides Rodriguez on August 17, 2021 at 10:47 pm

    Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry James 1:19

  39. stinkynene on August 17, 2021 at 10:49 pm

    I think this girls parents had great communication. Along they she also developed this skills. I believe that is truthfully the secret here.

  40. Claudio Rodriguez on August 17, 2021 at 10:49 pm

    The ahead industry ethnically store because timbale phylogenetically zoom excluding a cute crook. disagreeable, ethereal push

  41. Shanila Schnitter on August 17, 2021 at 10:51 pm

    I feel like you have to respect your teen and still have boundaries , for instincts when your child says they want to go out at night when you tell them no that’s the boundary part but when you reason with them and tell them why then that’s the respect .so I always say talk with your child and try to teach them something from the situation

  42. Cassidy Skinner on August 17, 2021 at 10:52 pm

    This is bull

  43. Carina Cortney on August 17, 2021 at 10:52 pm

    The scary farmer externally arrive because blouse fittingly regret by a ahead pilot. pushy, finicky jumbo

  44. Vanessa Walsh on August 17, 2021 at 10:54 pm

    So what’s the opposite of The Listener? Like if you take all the bad aspects from The Boss and The Loosey Goosey, and leave all the good qualities behind… What then becomes of the bad qualities?

  45. Thahseena Fathimath on August 17, 2021 at 10:55 pm

    I am a kind of person who talks to people and then thinks why did I talked like that(what would have they think about me)

  46. Shamma .F on August 17, 2021 at 10:56 pm

    Ya my mom recently took my computer away bc she claims it’s the reason I don’t sleep yet here I am at 4:46am

  47. zappafan11 on August 17, 2021 at 10:57 pm

    You’re a teen, which means you don’t know everything yet, and probably never will.

  48. Hương Mai Thị on August 17, 2021 at 11:01 pm

    nhanh the doc mai khong duoc

  49. Bex Mac on August 17, 2021 at 11:02 pm

    I love this… BUT I don’t think this will relate much to my teen. I’m a grown version of this speaker and my daughter is like a young James Hetfield. So… If she has a rebel sibling that could weigh in…